Dear Blank, Sincerely Blank
by QueenKira
Summary: Humorous exchanges between characters that always start with 'Dear', and end with 'Sincerely'. Drabble fic.
1. Sincerely Reg

******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Voldemort,**

I know I'll be dead by the time you read this, so I figured that now was the perfect time to express my feelings.

Fuck you.

Sincerely,

**Reg**

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**A/N This will be an entire drabble fic in the same formation. They will all be exchanges between characters. I'd reccommend going to the suggested website incase you don't understand. **

**Please review. (:**


	2. The Dark Lord

******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Severus**

You never had a chance at Hufflepuff. The term 'loyalty' was clearly lost on you.

Pick a side. Or else.

Sincerely,

**The Dark Lord**

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**A/N Please review (:**


	3. Sincerely Cedric Diggory

******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Edward Cullen,**

Er, yeah. Can you not steal my thunder... just once?

I would greatly appreciate that.

**Sincerely,**

**Cedric Diggory**

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**A/N I couldn't help myself! Please review (:**


	4. Sincerely Lavender Brown

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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Dear Ron,

I want your magic wand in my chamber of secrets.

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Sincerely, Lavender Brown

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**A/N That was actually one off of the website, but I just changed the names. All of your reviews keep me going!**


	5. Sincerely James and Lily

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Bella and Edward Cullen** (aka Blood sucking beasts),

Please, we know you are desperate for attention -since nothing can beat wizards-

but a mutant vampire baby? Please! The Boy-Who-Lived is so much cooler!

**Sincerely, James and Lily Potter **(aka PEOPLE with REAL weapons)

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**A/N This lovely note was sent in by Book-Mania-Girl520, she's pretty amazing. Review please!**


	6. Sincerely Dolores Umbridge

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Albus,**

I hope you enjoy the picture frame.

I think the pink adds a lovely touch.

The castle's a bit too grey for my liking.

**Sincerely, Dolores Umbridge**

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**A/N This lovely note was sent in by Book-Mania-Girl520, she's pretty amazing. Review please!**


	7. Sincerely Lucius and Narcissa

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**To the Dark Lord,**

We're dippin' out.

Peace.

**Sincerely, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy.**

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**A/N I just had to. Review please!**


	8. Sincerely OOTP

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**To the Death Eaters,**

You don't have to confess.

We lookin' fo you!

We gonna find you!

**Sincerely, The Order of the Pheonix and, um Antione Dodson**

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**A/N Ever see that video on Youtube? Check it out, it's hilarious. Review please!**


	9. Sincerely Voldemort

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Harry Potter,**

Please die so I can finally take over the world.

I'm terribly impatient.

It's too bad you weren't there to see Dolohov after he messed up my alphabetized collection of CD's.

Consider that a warning.

**Sincerely, Voldemort.**

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**A/N Review please!**


	10. Sincerely Jerry Springer

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Rodolphus,**

You are... NOT the father!

**Sincerely, Bellatrix, Voldemort, and Jerry Springer**

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**A/N Review please!**


	11. Sincerely the Joker

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Mr. Black,**

Why so serious?

**Sincerely, the Joker**

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**A/N I love getting reviews, hell I write even faster when I get them! Loads of reviews equal two or three chapters a day all for you (: Anyone watch the VMAs last night? Eminem winked at me lmao xD**


	12. Sincerely Harry Potter

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Voldemort,**

I know how you're stuggling with the whole 'killing me' issue; I would be too, but hey, all I do is win.

Anyway, Hermione says that a trip to the library always gives her new ideas.

Think of it as a head start; I mean, I know about your horcruxes, maybe this will make us even.

Good luck.

No, seriously, you'll need it.

**Sincerely, Harry Potter**

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**A/N I love getting reviews, hell I write even faster when I get them! Loads of reviews equal two or three chapters a day all for you (: **


	13. Sincerely, Harry Potter

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear 'Person who just poked me on Facebook', **

Really? Are you serious?

**Sincerely, Harry Potter**

**..**

**Dear Harry Potter, **

No, I'm Regulus.

**Sincerely, 'Person who just poked me on Facebook'**

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**A/N There's a legit group on FB 'Are you serious? No I'm Regulus.' Ahaha made my day. Review lots! (: **


	14. Sincerely, Lord Voldemort

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear wizarding world,**

Please stop destroying my death eaters.

I worked hard to kill their families and to strike fear and loyalty into their hearts.

**Sincerely, Lord Voldemort**

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**A/N Review please! Can we get to at least 60? (: **


	15. Sincerely, Hermione

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Ron,**

It's Wingardium LeviOhhhsa. Not LevioSAAAAAAAhhh.

**Sincerely, Hermione.**

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**A/N You reviewers are all amazing and I just want to hug all of you. Review please! (: **


	16. Sincerely, V

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Harry,**

Me and some of the deatheaters are getting together on Saturday for a poker game and a few beers. Fancy it? Ginny will be there.

**Sincerely, Lord Voldemort.**

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**A/N You reviewers are all amazing and I just want to hug all of you. Review please! (: **


	17. Sincerely, Child Welfare Dept

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Mr. Dursley:**

This is to inform you that we will be doing a full audit as to the State Support you have been receiving for your nephew, Harry James Potter. We have received evidence that not all of these funds have been used for the well-being and benefit of the minor child, and an investigation has been opened.

Please make yourself and your wife, Petunia Dursley, nee Evans, available on the below stated date and time, at the office of Child Welfare as listed on the letterhead. We ask that you bring all documentation as to expenses for Harry Potter.

May I also recommend you bring your barrister.

**Sincerley,**

**Barbara Winters**

**Child Welfare Dept.**

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**A/N This chapter is all thanks to _criminally charmed. _Review please (:**


	18. Sincerely, Ron

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Harry,**

As your friend, I would say 'Hey, just shag her already.'

But since the girl is my sister, I'd like to kindly inform you the following:

'Hurt her, and You-Know-Who will have nothing on me; I will beat the shit out of you.'

So anyway, good luck with Ginny.

**Sincerely, Ron**

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**A/N Review please (:**


	19. Sincerely, Ginny

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Ron,**

Harry showed me your letter. So let me say this to you:  
Keep your nose out of my business or I'll show you my new and improved bat-bogey hex.

Got it?

**Sincerely,**

**Ginny**

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**A/N You can thank _criminally charmed_ for this awesomesauce chapter. Can we get to 95? Review please (:**


	20. Sincerely, Pansy Parkinson

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Draco,**

You have a nice bed, may I Slytherin?

**Sincerely, Pansy Parkinson**

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**A/N It's been too long. Can we get to 98? Review please (:**


	21. Sincerely, HP

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Criss Angel and David Blaine,**

Stop practicing magic at once. It isn't real, and it offends me.

**Sincerely, Harry Potter.**

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**A/N Wow, thanks for all of the reviews! Review please (:**


	22. Sincerely Dobby

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******A/N Just discovered a website called DearBlankPleaseBlank (dot) com and it inspired me to write this.**

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**Dear Winky,**

Butterbeers at 11? Harry Potter says it would be nice ifs we mingled.

**Sincerely, Dobby**

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**A/N Way too long. Thank you for all of the reviews, keep them coming !**


	23. Sincerely Dedicated HP Fans

**A/N: Last one ); However, check out my new drabble story based on the website TextsFromLastNight coming out soon.**

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****Dear Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows : Part I**

Please come soon; I can't wait another fourteen days!

**Sincerely, Dedicated Harry Potter Fans**

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**A/N: And that was it! I appreciate every review, and don't forget to look for new stories written by me. Reviews make the world go round.**


	24. Sincerely Ron

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.****

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**Dear Harry,**

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

**Sincerely, Ron**

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**A/N: Review for an update in a couple of hours :)**


	25. Sincerely, HPotter

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Ron,**

If we turn into sparkly vampires, I suggest we head to - after we harass a few deatheater and ministry schmucks - and the make tracks. I would have suggested Los Angeles, but they have gotten to strange for us. Hermoines research indicates either the north eastern are know as New England for research and close magical communities. How ever, there is also the middle of the country which allows for wide open spaces - read - quidditch by the light of a harvest moon!

Panic fades when the options of life are opened.

**Sincerely, Harry**

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****A/N; This lovely chapter is thanks to criminally charmed - she's a star! Review please (:**


	26. Sincerely, TRNose

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Voldemort,**

Look, I know we went through a rocky time when you were a teenager. But all the pimples weren't my fault-you should've spent more time washing your face instead of creating horcruxes. Seriously, the acne scarring wasn't bad enough for you to return to life without me!

**Sincerely, Tom Riddle's Nose**

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**A/N; This lovely chapter is thanks to Kaerith - she's awesome! Review please (:**


	27. Sincerely, Plankton

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Voldemort,**

I have a completely fool proof plan that will ensure the destruction of BOTH the Ministry of Magic and The Krusty Krab. I'll keep you posted via message in a bottle, unless you would like to apparate and help me wreak havoc on the citizens of Bikini Bottom.

**Sincerely, Plankton****

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**A/N; ReviewReviewReview ! Can we get to 200 ? :)**


	28. Sincerely, Pinocchio

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Voldemort, **

Lying will help your nose 'situation', just take a look at me!

**Sincerely, Pinocchio**

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**A/N; This one was thanks to PsychoWitchInTraining. ReviewReviewReview ! **


	29. Sincerely, Everyone

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Dumbledore,**

We _so _knew it; the purple robes and sparkles totally gave it away.

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**Sincerely, Everyone in the Wizarding World

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**A/N; This one was thanks to Kaerith. ReviewReviewReview ! **


	30. Dear Ferb,

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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******Dear Ferb,**

Hey, Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today. You and Phineas are gonna help me kick Voldy's butt!

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******  
Sincerly, Your Cousin, Harry Potter

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**A/N: This one is thanks to criminallycharmed- lovelovelove it :) Review please.**


	31. Dear Stephenie Meyer,

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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******Dear Stephenie Meyer,**

Please explain to me why some people think that your 'book series' (if you can even call it that) is better than mine. Apparently lack of substance attracts the minds of a teeny boppers everywhere.

**Sincerly, J.K Rowling

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**

A/N: Review please :)


	32. Dear Lord Voldemort,

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********

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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Dear Lord Voldemort,

Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?

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Sincerely, Christina Perri

**

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**A/N: That was inspired by the song, 'Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri, of course :) ReviewReviewReview!**


	33. Dear Severus Snape,

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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Dear Severus Snape,

This whole 'double-life' thing is kind of hard; I need advice ASAP. I mean, you didn't even need to change _anything_ about your personality; that's talent.

P.S Have you ever thought about purchasing a wig?

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Sincerely, Hannah Montana

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**A/N: Eh, losing inspiration :( but you reviewers are stars! ReviewReviewReview!**


	34. Dear Jacob Black,

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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Dear Remus Lupin,

Pack night on Thursday.

Probably fucking shit up.

You in?

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Sincerely, Jacob Black and friends

..

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Dear Jacob Black,

No.

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Sincerely, Remus Lupin

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**A/N: You reviewers are always amazing! ReviewReviewReview!**


	35. Dear SS,

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Severus Snape,**

Have you ever considered using Dawn? It works on wildlife in oil spills. We would be willing to compensate you for before and after pictures.

**Sincerely,**

**Proctor and Gamble**

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**A/N: This awesomesauce chapter was brought to you by criminally charmed. ReviewReviewReview!**


	36. Dear Twilight,

****

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****

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Twilight,**

Talk to me when you get your own amusement park.

****

**Sincerely Harry Potter**

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**A/N: This awesomesauce chapter was brought to you by _Weird Schmeird_. ReviewReviewReview!**


	37. Sincerely, AlbusSeverusPotter

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Renesmee Carlie Cullen,**

And you thought your name was bad?

I win, bitch.

**Sincerely, Albus Severus Potter**

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**A/N Over 320 reviews, keep them coming! :)**


	38. Sincerely, L'Oréal

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Severus Snape,**

Because you're worth it.

**Sincerely, L'Oréa**l

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**A/N Loving those reviews, keep them coming! :)**


	39. Dear Rose,

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Rose, **

You don't have to be shy about anything, Rosie-Posie. I heard you and Karoline Nott talking about how hot 'Malfoy' was.

Floo me or something.

**Sincerely, Scorpius**

**..**

**Dear Scorpius, **

I was talking about your father, but nice try.

**Sincerely, Rose**

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**A/N Loving those reviews, keep them coming! :)**


	40. Sincerely, Scorpius

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**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, let's get that out of the way. Anyway, I lied, I'm definitely adding more to this story.**

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**Dear Rose, **

What's a D.I.L.F?

**Sincerely, Scorpius**

**..**

**Dear Scorpius,**

Wouldn't you like to know...

**Sincerely, Rose**

* * *

**ATTENTION! ATTENTION!** That, lovelies, was the official last chapter of DBSB.

_However_, I will be starting a sort of **sequel** based off of the website, **'Texts From Last Night'**. It will be called **'Floos From Last Night'.** I don't know when I'll have the first chapter out **(maybe today!), **so **I'd suggest adding me to Author Alert**, if you want of course.

**Thank you** for all of the amazing reviews and all of the awesomesauce help with the chapters :)

P.S; some readers inquired as to what D.I.L.F stands for; It means **Dad I'd Like to F*** :)**

**Review **one last time ... **:)**


	41. Dear Bellatrix,

Okay, I feel like an idiot; I **am continuing** this fic!

Anyway, check out my companion fic, **'Owls From Last Night'.**

* * *

**Dear Bellatrix,**

I just called you five times already! Did I not make it clear? I want my hair back!

**Sincerely, the 80s**

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Seriously, guys I doubt I'll ever stop writing this fic! **ReviewReviewReview!**


	42. Sincerely, Lenscrafters

Okay, I feel like an idiot; I **am continuing** this fic!

Anyway, check out my companion fic, **'Owls From Last Night'.**

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**Dear Harry,**

Seriously, we have a good deal for 'Voldemort killing, horcrux finding' contacts; you should definitely look into them.

**Sincerely, Lenscrafters**

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Wow! Finally, 400 reviews! Thank you everyone :) **ReviewReviewReview!**


	43. Sincerely, Remus Lupin

Okay, I feel like an idiot; I **am continuing** this fic!

Anyway, check out my companion fic, **'Owls From Last Night'.**

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**Dear Jacob Black,**

Stop sending me invites to pack night; I'm not interested in frolicking around naked with other men staring at me.

**Sincerely, Remus Lupin**

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Thank you everyone :) **ReviewReviewReview!**


	44. Sincerely, Downy

**Dear Tom Marvolo Riddle, **

Marvolo? That sounds a bit like the washing detergent we're trying to create but don't have a name for. We'll have a contract drawn and sent to you just incase you want to join forces.

**Sincerely, Downy Ultra Soft **

**

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Thank you for all the amazing reviews ;) Review please!**


	45. Dear Malfoy,

**Dear Malfoy,**

Rose and Scorpius need to end.

I never thought I would say this but, I need your help for sabotage.

Remember, that time we all almost died and Harry and I saved your life?

Think of it as a payment for decades of debt.

**Sincerely, Ron Weasley**

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Thank you for all the amazing reviews ;) Review please!


	46. Dear MJ,

**Dear Voldemort,**

Are you suing the plastic surgeon, too?

**Sincerely, Michael Jackson**

::

**Dear Micheal Jackson,**

I lost that case, so I killed him. AVADA KEDAVRA!

**Sincerely, Voldemort**

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That one I got from comments on another 'Dear Blank, Please Blank' from the website. Thank you for all the amazing reviews ;) **Review** please!


	47. Sincerely, Astoria

**Dear Hermione,**

Our husbands are idiots; feel free to come over and discuss the adorableness of my son and your daughter in a relationship.

By the way, I feel a wedding coming on; I do hope we can help plan this together.

**Sincerely, Astoria**

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**Review** please! Oh, and I have a new spin off called **'Dear People of Fanfiction'**, feel free to read that, but remember to reviewreviewreview :)


	48. Dear Mrs Weasley,

**Dear Mrs. Weasley,**

Seventy-six hours of combined labor; we salute you.

**Sincerely, Every Mother Out There**

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**Review** please! Oh, and I have a new spin off called **'Dear People of Fanfiction'**, feel free to read that, but remember to reviewreviewreview :)


	49. Sincerely, Antonin Dolohov

**Dear Hermione Granger,**

Thanks for obliviating me, no really, it's always wonderful getting crucio'd by the Dark Lord because you can't remember shit about Harry Potter's whereabouts.

By the way, you have a terrible blinking problem.

**Sincerely, Antonin Dolohov**

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**Review** please! By the way, I have a new Drabble/Freeverse fic called **Inhibitions**, it's about non-canon and forbidden couples. Check it out if you'd like :)


	50. Sincerely, RegulusArcturusBlack

**Dear Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy,**

Welcome to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black where our ancestors strive to give us repulsive names.

Sirius... well that wasn't _so_ bad, but Regulus? What the bloody hell were my parents thinking!

Good luck, kid; you'll need it.

**Sincerely, Regulus Arcturus Black**

P.S; If you ever name your kid something stupid, watch your back; this won't be the last of my 'haunting people' shit.

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**Review** please! By the way, I have a new Drabble/Freeverse fic called **Inhibitions**, it's about non-canon and forbidden couples. Check it out if you'd like :)


	51. Dear Charlie Sheen,

**Dear Charlie Sheen,**

Since you're all about winning, please join me on my quest to kill Harry Potter.

**Sincerely, Lord Voldemort**

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**Review** please! By the way, I have a new Drabble/Freeverse fic called **Inhibitions**, it's about non-canon and forbidden couples. Check it out if you'd like :)


	52. Dear Albus,

**Dear Albus,**

Nice wig, Albus; what's it made of?

**Sincerely, Voldemort**

**::**

**Dear Voldemort,**

YOUR MOM'S CHEST HAIR!

**Sincerely, Albus **

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Oh, the joys of slamming together _Mean Girls_ and _Harry Potter_ :)** Review** please! By the way, I have a new Drabble/Freeverse fic called **Inhibitions**, it's about non-canon and forbidden couples. Check it out if you'd like :)


	53. Dear Kate Middleton,

**Dear Kate Middleton,**

Wedding of the century? Ha!

MINE AND HARRY'S WILL DESTROY YOURS!

Ehem. Congratulations, your dress was fabulous.

**Sincerely, Ginny Weasley**

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In honor of the Royal Wedding *sigh*, I wish that I could be a princess.  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)  
Oh, and if you want previews and update thingys, add me on **twitter - EccentricRonnie  
**or add me on** facebook - Veronika Dolokhov :)**


	54. Sincerely, Ministry of Magic

**Dear J.K. Rowling,**

We have received notification that you have broken the International Statute of Secrecy. Ministry officials will be arriving shortly to confiscate your pen.

**Sincerely, the Ministry of Magic**

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This chapter is thanks to _Lily Ginerva Hermione Potter_ :)  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)  
Oh, and if you want previews and update thingys, add me on **twitter - EccentricRonnie  
**or add me on** facebook - Veronika Dolokhov :)**


	55. Dear Osama,

**Dear Osama Bin Laden,**

Join the club of people that die on May 2nd, we meet every Tuesday. It's your turn to bring snacks.

Oh, and don't forget the sangria mix.  
**  
Sincerely Hitler and Voldemort.**

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My goal is to get to at least **1000 reviews** by the **80th** chapter .. that would be fucking awesome.

This chapter is thanks to _Maerad-of-Pellinor28_ :)  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)  
Oh, and if you want previews and update thingys, add me on **twitter - EccentricRonnie  
**or add me on** facebook - Veronika Dolokhov :)**


	56. Sincerely, USA

**Dear Ministry of Magic,**

It took us less than ten years to get rid of Bin Laden. What took you so long?

**Sincerely, ****The United States of America**

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Okay, lmfao that was the last of the Bin Laden jokes, but I just had to; it was hilarious :)  
Anyone going throught the torture that is AP testing? Feel free to vent.  
Tomorrow I have Bio and US History .. bleh.

This chapter is thanks to Ginevra1988 :)  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)  
Oh, and if you want previews and update thingys, add me on **twitter - EccentricRonnie  
**or add me on** facebook - Veronika Dolokhov :)**


	57. Sincerely, The Ministry

**Dear Wizard Community of Forks, Washington,**

It has come to our attention that a Dark Wizard has made a Inferi of Cedric Diggory, now going by the name of Edward Cullen. He is known to be running around with an unregistered Animagus, Jacob Black. If you have any information about their whereabouts, contact the Ministry of Magic.

**Sincerely, Minister for Magic.**

* * *

This chapter is thanks to _Lily Ginerva Hermione Potter_ :)  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)  
**1000** reviews = the dream xD


	58. Sincerely, Honeydukes

**Dear Cadbury, Aero, and Galaxy chocolate companies,**

It is official, no matter how delicious your chocolate tastes, ours is better! You can have your cream eggs, bubbly aeros, and fruit and nut, but we have chocolate frogs with HARRY POTTER CARDS! Just ignore the cockroach cluster sale percents...

**Sincerely, Honeydukes**

* * *

This chapter is thanks to _PeverellStone_ :)  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)  
**1000** reviews = the dream xD


	59. Dear Plankton,

**Dear Plankton,**

F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U's for uranium ... bombs; N is for no survival!

I do believe I may be following that route ...

**Sincerely, Lord Voldemort**

**::**

**Dear Lord Voldemort, **

Stop stealing my methods; that shit is not cute.

**Sincerely, Plankton**

* * *

You guys are amazing with the reviews, thank you!  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)  
**1000** reviews = the dream xD


	60. Sincerely, Anne Frank

**notes;** i do not own harry potter

* * *

**Dear Tom Riddle,**

They've read my diary too, you know.

It gets easier as the years go on.

**Sincerely, Anne Frank**

* * *

**notes;** the spin-off is up, it's called **You Have One New Message**.  
please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	61. Dear Edward,

**notes;** i do not own harry potter

* * *

**Dear Edward,**

Real immortals drink unicorn blood.

**Sincerely, Voldemort.**

* * *

**notes;** this chapter is thanks to the wonderful  
_Lily Ginerva Hermione Potter_  
the spin-off is up, it's called **You Have One New Message**.  
please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	62. Dear Bella Swan,

**notes;** i do not own harry potter

* * *

**Dear Bella Swan,**

Stop making my name sound pathetic and needy, you filthy muggle!

**Sincerely, Bellatrix Lestrange**

* * *

**notes;** the spin-off is up, it's called **You Have One New Message**.  
please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)  
1000 reviews ; we're so close!


	63. Dear Bellatrix,,

**notes;** i do not own harry potter

* * *

**Dear Bellatrix,**

Cover up that hickey; Merlin knows what your idiot fool of a husband will do next.

Better yet, let him see it and believe that Dolohov gave it to you in Azkaban (I hear the nights are lonely there); he's been pissing me off lately.

**Sincerely, Lord Voldemort**

* * *

**notes;** the spin-off is up, it's called **You Have One New Message**.  
please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)  
1000 reviews ; we're so close!


	64. Sincerely, Everyone In The World

**notes;** i do not own harry potter

* * *

**Dear Bellatrix,  
**  
You killed the wrong black; Rebecca and Jacob black are still out there.

You know what to do.

**Sincerely, Everyone**

* * *

**notes;** Ahhhhhhh holy bananas 1000 reviews! My life is complete :) Thank you, everyone!  
This chapter is thanks to _The great dragon lives_  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	65. Sincerely, Emma Watson

**notes;** i do not own harry potter

* * *

**Dear Kristen Stewart,**

Best actress my arse.

P.S You make the constipated look work quite well...

**Sincerely, Emma Watson**

* * *

**notes;** Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	66. Dear Twilight 2,

**notes;** i do not own harry potter

* * *

**Dear Twilight,**

What? Sorry, I can't hear you over my amusement park.

**Sincerely, Harry Potter**

* * *

**notes;** Thank you, _PolaroidPen_ for this fantastical chapter :)

Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	67. Sincerely, Walburga Black

**notes;** i do not own harry potter

* * *

**Dear Jacob and Rebecca Black,**

How dare you consider yourselves worthy of the name 'Black'!

Filth! Shame! Disgusting animals!

**Sincerely, Walburga Black**

* * *

**notes;** i think this may be one of the last chapters ); i want to focus more on DPoFF and maybe write an actual story.

please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	68. Sincerely, CD

**notes;** i do not own harry potter

* * *

**Dear Edward Cullen,**

Did you get my previous letter?

It's flattering and all, but I don't do glitter or sparkles or whatever.

Deuces.

**Sincerely, Cedric Diggory**

* * *

**notes;** last chapter ); *sobs* but now i can move onto 'you have one new message' ; thank you everyone for your favorites/alerts/and your ohsolovely reviews and help with most of my chapters!


	69. Dear Draco,

**Dear Draco,**

Do you not enjoy affection .. or hugs?

I thought I was being quite kind.

**Sincerely, Lord Voldemort**

* * *

**a/n: ahhhhhhhhhhh okay, i really needed to do that. **  
**deathly hallows part 2 was fanfuckingtastic.**  
**please do not favorite without leaving a review :)**  
**(p.s i plan on doing one last chapter after this one to make the total chapters add up to 70)**


	70. Dear JK Rowling

**Dear J.K Rowling,**

We can't begin to thank you enough for your amazing imagination.

Without you, there would be no magic.

**Sincerely, Harry Potter Fans**

* * *

**a/n: dun dun dun dun . the endddddd.  
review one last time ?  
oh and i may start a new story, called 'that awkward moment'  
if you're familiar with that statement, then you'll understand the concept  
the story will be in this sort of short format  
message me or review if you think i should do it :)**


	71. Sincerely, H Potter

**A/N; Hello, everyone! I just had to do this :)**  
**I don't own Harry Potter**

* * *

**Dear Voldemort**

I call a temparary truce.

There is a greater evil out there then you. We must ban together to be rid of Stephenie Meyer.

THEN we can go back to killing eachother.

Do we have a deal?

**Sincerely H. Potter**

* * *

**A/N; This chapter was thanks to wolfsrainrules, and I had to put it because I was looking through my reviews and I was dying when I read this.  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a review :)**

**I'M CONTINUING THIS YAYAYAYAY!**


	72. Dear Chemistry Teachers,

**A/N; Hello, everyone! I just had to do this :)**  
**I don't own Harry Potter**

* * *

**Dear Chemistry Teachers,**

Please stop trying to be like Severus Snape; it's not happening.

**Sincerely, Kids Everywhere**

* * *

**A/N; Sorry it's been awhile );  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a review :)**

**I'M CONTINUING THIS YAYAYAYAY!**


	73. Dear Rowling,

**Dear Rowling,**

Ginny? Really?

Was there really no way that you could have stuck me with Luna, or even Susan and her E-cups if you were so gaga over me being with a redhead. DOn't get me wrong, she's a great lay, and she's not so bad as a girlfriend, but her mother is far too overbearing.

And really, the way that I just suddenly started obsessing over her is very suspicious. She was like a little sister to me you know. And speaking of sisters, Hermione could have done a lot better than Ron.

**Sincerely,**

**Harry Potter**

ps. Albus Severus Potter? What the FUCK! Were we drunk when we named him? Were you drunk when you came up with that?

* * *

**A/N**: This hilarious chapter was brought to you by _NarutosBrat_.  
My thoughts exactly.  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	74. Sincerely, Voldy

**Dear Drake,**

YOLO?

I thought you should know that your argument is invalid.

You Only Live Once, ha!

Maybe for you.

**Sincerely, Lord Voldemort**

* * *

**A/N**:  
Why haven't I thought of this earlier?  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	75. Dear Harry P,

**Dear Harry Potter,**

No way! your mom died protecting you too? Lets be best friends!

**Sincerely, Nemo.**

* * *

**A/N**:  
Haha I actually got this off the 'Dear Blank, Please Blank' website.  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	76. Dear Weasleys,

**Dear Weasleys,**

In ALL the books and ALL the movies, all 8 of you have never really been attacked or affected by a dementor.

Is there a reason for this?

**Sincerely**, **The Stereotyped Gingers **

* * *

**A/N**: .. because gingers have no souls lmao.  
Thanks to _Chaygrace Daya_ for that one.  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	77. Dear Disney World,

**Dear Disney World,**

You are no longer the most magical place on earth. Sorry.

**Sincerely, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.**

* * *

**A/N**:  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	78. Sincerely, HP Better than You

**Dear Twilight,**

You are not the end of an era. Harry Potter was the end of an era. You, Twilight, are the end of an error.

**Sincerely, Harry Potter**

* * *

**A/N**: Check out the poll on my page!  
Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	79. Dear Waldo,

**Dear Waldo,**

Can I interest you in becoming a horcrux?

**Sincerely, Lord Voldemort**

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry it's been so long, my account was suspended because the people that work FF are asshats.  
Anyway, I'm back, back again (awkwardly typing this as Eminem raps in my head)  
Check out the poll on my page!  
This chapter was thanks to _acciomagicbananas_

Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	80. Sincerely, Sirius Black

**Dear Jacob Black,**

You ride a motorcycle and change into a dog? How original.

And your name?

YOLO - You Obviously Lack Originality

**Sincerely, Sirius Black**

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry it's been so long, and it's not like I can use 'life' as an excuse because let's be honest, I don't have one of those.  
Check out the poll on my page!  
This chapter was thanks to _WannaBeAMusician  
_

Please do not favorite or alert without leaving a **review** :)


	81. Sincerely Joe Biden,

**A/N**: Oh hey there .. it's been awhile.  
I still don't own Harry Potter by the way.

* * *

**Dear Voldemort,**

This is malarkey!

**Sincerely Joe Biden**

* * *

**A/N**: That was terrible, but if you watched the vice-presidential debate you'll know what I'm talking about.  
I'LL UPDATE TOMORROW I PROMISE!


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